Shit for Sale...
It's time to sell you some junk...I have noticed that I haven't received any orders so I am now increasing my prices! Thatll teach ya! Act fast or ill do it again!
New! Some old war medals...well just the ribbons actually, found near the White House lawn. They look like they are possibly from the Viet Nam era...must have been lost by a real war hero...No real hero would have tossed them...make an offer.
Cody's patio shit art. Any piece, any letter, unassembled, comes in a cardboard box with each piece numbered and instructions how to reconstruct the letter you have purchased. $45.00 + shipping.
Autographed photo of Cody "in production". Cody in the process of creating a piece of his art work with his paw print embedded on the photo. $115.00 + shipping.
A hairball of Patches. Hurled up on the floor on August 11, 2002. It's an original! I would keep it myself but I need the money! This is a one of a kind! $91.00 + shipping.
A collection of bugers and toenail clippings from The Doctor Himself! The Doctor has carefully selected from his own stock, a collection of beautiful bugers, and toenail clippings that you can frame or simply keep in the plastic cup they are shipped in. $215.00 + shipping.
Black Velvet photo of Doctor Hormone. This piece competes with the black velvet art that was made famous by Bob Marley and Elvis Presley! Doctor Hormone would be well hung alongside them in black velvet! $ Call for price!!!
Rope from the rope game. This is actual rope used by Doctor Hormone to play some of his rope games... You can use this rope to create your own games or reconstruct one of the Doctors games as described on the website! Sky's the limit! $2.00/ft. + shipping.
Rat n a Can. This is an actual reproduction of the original Rat N A Can, that was made by the Great Doctor. Only two originals were made! Yours will come shipped with a certificate of authenticity, serialized and a custom tape made to your specifications, (Tapes available in Spanish for an extra cost) including personal remarks made by the rat. Additional tapes will be made on order at an additional nominal cost! Order now, supply is limited! $390.00 + shipping.
The Lizard Project Poster Calendars. These beautiful photo calendars will dress the walls of any office or gas station restroom with grace and function! All 12 months included! Class up your office today! $90.00 + shipping.
Dead Lizard. Yes now, you can have your own mummified dead lizard, made for "The Project" but instead shipped directly to you! This lizard will come, fully mummified and lithographed by a crippled Vietnamese refugee trained in the art of "Micro Portraits" with Cody, Patches, and Stinky's portrait painted onto the belly of the mummified corpse! Do Not Miss Out On This Deal!!!! $1321.00 + shipping.
Black & Decker drill. This drill was recalled because they catch fire but it hasn't caused me any problem so far. I'm letting it go cheap. Only one available, order fast! $190.00 + shipping.
Greg Hormone Cartoon Greeting Cards. Tired of sending ordinary greeting cards? So am I! Now you can send original greeting cards with Doctor Hormone's original cartoons (as shown on the web) on the cover and a very special caption inside that truly captures the moment of the event! Instead of "Get Well Soon" how about..."Who cares, I never liked you much anyhow!" Or instead of "Happy Birthday" how about..."Fuck Off and Die! We Never Liked You Much Anyhow" or for a death in the family how about, "So...We Never Liked Him Much Anyhow" There are only a limited supply of these fine lithographs...order now! $90.00 for a pack of 10. + shipping.
Short Stories, The Book. Yes Doctor hormone has finally consented to publish a small bathroom copy version of his finest stories! These little sonnets are ideal for that short stop in the can when you need to take a crap, don't have time to read a novel but need something stupid to help you relax and rent your bowels! All of Doctor Hormones original website stories are here! Pictures included, Plus a special mini autobiography! $75.00 + shipping.
All of the Junk in My Garage. This is a surprise package. I admit, I do want to clean my garage, and many of the items here are not that valuable, it is a surprise package...That's all I can tell you. $60.00 + shipping.
The White Mud Workshop. This one is perhaps my most creative endeavor! I thought that if anyone really wanted to know the real story of White Mud, they would need to spend some time with me. So,...If you are really serious about learning the story of White Mud, I am willing to come to your home, your town, and stay in your home, eat your food, have sex with your wife, drink your beer, sleep in your bed and drool on your pillow if necessary. I will offer my services for an 80 hour seminar on the entire story of White Mud. I will attempt to tell you everything I remember about White Mud Blues Band. I will even bring a few of the fellow White Mud Alumni (for a nominal extra fee) and give you the entire story! You may video film this entire episode at no extra charge, All this for a mere fee of $12000.00 (plus expenses)
The fee on this item is non-negotiable. Call for details...1-305-992-1758
Cody's old Vaccination badge. This doesn't seem like an item of much value, but Cody went through some pain to get this, and he would like to keep it, but again, I need the money. One of a kind! $85.00 + shipping.
Doctor Hormones 1st CD "Made In Detroit" Released in September of 2002, Finished in 2 hours! This recent release of new music compositions by The Doctor, are jazz oriented free style music tracks. This comeback CD is music's equivalent to Etch-A-Sketch in Art. My favorite clip is "Doodeedo" which I've heard it several times and man I'll tell you what!...$25.00 + shipping.
"More Moans From Hormone" Was released in late 2002, October, November...I forget exactly when but, Cakewalk's Home Studio 2002 made this the real debut CD! If you are an aspiring musician I recommend this software! $25.00 + shipping.
"In Hormony With The Universe" This CD released in December 2002 was my last new CD so far. The mix of Detroit nostalgia and jazz fusion demonstrates...well I don't know, my heartfelt longing to return to the womb of my childhood deep in the bowels of downtown Saint Clair Shores, Michigan. $25.00 + shipping.
* Here now!...Dr. Hormone's newest CD. Proudly entitled..."Creative Juices" it's a Greatest Hit Compilation CD which includes top hits from "Made in Detroit", "More Moans From Hormone", and "In Hormony with the Universe" $45.00 + shipping.
White Mud T-Shirt. Here is an item that you can wear in pride! Just like the boys wore in 1967-70, Now you too can walk the streets dressed in this shirt! The original black spray painted "Army stencil" font on any color from the following choices will put you in the exclusive company of that famous rock band from the 60's ...White Mud!!!
Band Alumni style T shirt in white.....
Groupies T shirt in white with fluorescent background...
shipping and tax are not included in the above prices. Call for details...1-305-992-1758. Doctor Hormone will personally take your order! Prices are subject to change at my whim.