Airbags...fucking...Why?
Something occurred to me recently, after my recent first collision in traffic...ever...fucking ever!
I pulled into an intersection and was wammoed by an oncoming vehicle. I will admit no guilt here publicly, for fear of legal retribution...so suffice it to say, it was the other guys fault!
Nonetheless, My airbags which cost an additional several thousand dollars when I purchased the vehicle, failed to inflate. It has been several weeks since the accident occurred but I am just now realizing that the collision which should have caused my expensive airbags to inflate did not! Why? I paid for the airbags, and i certainly paid for the opportunity to see them work! Why did they not work? The oncoming car hit me at a speed of at least 35-40 mph.
More bullshit merchandise from the auto industry to make us safe? Yeah!
I am going to begin production on an after market economical version of these pricey airbags which i believe will do the same or better job as the $3000.00 version out of Detroit!
I wouldnt be surprised if the Chinese cars being introduced into our economy have these already!
Imagine the festive decor of your trashed out little Ford Fairlane with a shitload of cheap balloons inside to protect you. Not only will you be as safe as the pricey airbags would make you, but you can have a virtual party in your car all day long!
True, the law enforcement community will have a field day with you as you drive along the streets of your neighborhood, but at least you will be safe for only a few dollars. Yes, there will be some obstruction to driving but again, with enough balloons in your car, and they are much more affordable...you will be able to drive down the street hitting virtually every tree on the street and hardly feel a knock!
As the cheap party balloons deflate naturally, simply replace them with more cheap balloons! At $19.95 a pack you can party all year for about $300.00
Im always thinking...Like Ralph Nader....I have that kind of mind....
I pulled into an intersection and was wammoed by an oncoming vehicle. I will admit no guilt here publicly, for fear of legal retribution...so suffice it to say, it was the other guys fault!
Nonetheless, My airbags which cost an additional several thousand dollars when I purchased the vehicle, failed to inflate. It has been several weeks since the accident occurred but I am just now realizing that the collision which should have caused my expensive airbags to inflate did not! Why? I paid for the airbags, and i certainly paid for the opportunity to see them work! Why did they not work? The oncoming car hit me at a speed of at least 35-40 mph.
More bullshit merchandise from the auto industry to make us safe? Yeah!
I am going to begin production on an after market economical version of these pricey airbags which i believe will do the same or better job as the $3000.00 version out of Detroit!
I wouldnt be surprised if the Chinese cars being introduced into our economy have these already!
Imagine the festive decor of your trashed out little Ford Fairlane with a shitload of cheap balloons inside to protect you. Not only will you be as safe as the pricey airbags would make you, but you can have a virtual party in your car all day long!
True, the law enforcement community will have a field day with you as you drive along the streets of your neighborhood, but at least you will be safe for only a few dollars. Yes, there will be some obstruction to driving but again, with enough balloons in your car, and they are much more affordable...you will be able to drive down the street hitting virtually every tree on the street and hardly feel a knock!
As the cheap party balloons deflate naturally, simply replace them with more cheap balloons! At $19.95 a pack you can party all year for about $300.00
Im always thinking...Like Ralph Nader....I have that kind of mind....
posted by greg hormone at 1/17/2006 02:13:00 AM
4 Comments:
Damn, Doctor Hormone...I didn't know you were in a game of bumper cars!! ;-( I did always like the neck wrenching activity.
Years ago, when I worked for Alice Cooper, we thought about wrecking our "U-Haul from Hell" in order to get out of the next gig. We didn't want to get hurt so we did something similar, but more expensive, than you balloon idea.
We had boxes of real goose down pillows in the back of the truck for the "Black Ju Ju" finale and so we put a bunch of them in the cab will us.
It was hard to see around the pillows, but it sure was cozy!! ;-) As I was about to drive the truck into a deep gully (I used to describe it as "off a cliff", but I am trying to stick to "just the facts Mame (or Mem)), I got an enlightening insight...."How would we explain the cab full of pillows", so I aborted the crash attempt.
So much for that story. BTW, are you OK? I hope you didn't get hurt.
Sir Martin of White Mud
Hmmm...so it finally comes out now, Sir Martin, doesn't it? We've been tailing you for decades waiting for the truth to ooze it's way out eventually, and it just did with your last comment. You never purchased the rental insurance and claimed it to be an accident, which of course, nulls and voids any claims you may have made on behalf of your injuries, etc. U-Haul of America awarded you and your cronies $137 in a court of law for your injuries decades ago and according to our accountants, with interest to date added in, you and your cronies now owe us $170,243.97 which we would like in nice unmarked bills. You can drop it off at that nice Mikey Moe Hawk's house or call him to pick it up to hand deliver it to us. Got it? GET IT!!!
I don't think that message is from U-Haul of America. I think that was Mikey Moe pretending again. If you read my comment fully, you would realize that I didn't crash THAT U-Haul truck.
Besides, I got blacklisted by U-Haul for various reasons that I don't wish to disclose on the internet.
Mikey, that was a great post and a good try!! ;-)
Sir Martin of White Mud
I smell a fish here too. I personally know for a fact, that if Mikey Moe is called on to deliver the money...you will likely never ever see it!
As for the interest on the money you guys were surriptitiosly awarded by the courts....and the interest, im pretty sure there is a statute of limitations on petty fraud such as this may have been...
I reccomend that you plead "Bite Me" not guilty!
If you need further representation in this matter, please contact my office in the morning...
Jeffery Feiger P.A.
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